Best Not To Mess With Ouija

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Every paranormal thriller that stars one of these intriguing little boards shows a bunch of unsuspecting teenagers having stupidly acquired one, after being warned not to mess with it, sitting around attempting to speak to the dead.  Before long they are being haunted, demonized, and murdered until the hero or heroine destroys it once and for all … or so they think.

It was the summer of 1999 and we were living on Long Island.  My cousin had told us about a friend of his, Mike, whose mother was allegedly a witch.  Mike lived alone with his mom in this creepy old house not unlike the one from  the Amityville horror.  There were rumors that the house was haunted, and that black magic spells were being performed there by Mikes mother and those from her coven, but there was never any real proof.

Mikes mother was away and it was decided that he was going to have a party, and we were all invited. We were told to bring sleeping bags in case people wanted to crash.  My cousin and I couldn’t resist as we had a penchant for creepy houses, and possible hauntings, plus Mike was really fun.

Being intuitive myself, the moment we pulled up to the house I could feel a strange vibe.  It wasn’t particularly evil, it was just strange.  My concerns faded quickly when Mike threw open the front door dressed in a Hawaiian shirt blasting Bob Marley.  You could smell the BBQ in the back and I was starving so any thoughts of ghosts quickly disappeared.

There were only a handful of us who stayed after midnight.  We were all gathered in Mikes living room when Andy, a handsome yet completely clueless young lad had a fantastic idea.

“Hey Mike, let’s go up in the attic and check out your moms voodoo psychic shit.”  Andy would be the first to be killed if this was a movie.

“I don’t know man.  She specifically told us to stay out of there.”

Becca leaned in seductively.  She was a beautiful girl with sun streaked hair and perfect features. She would be killed second for sure, most likely while having sex with Mike.

“Come on.  I want to see.  I’ve heard so much about this place.”

Becca licked Mikes ear and before we knew it, we were in the attic.  There were so many amazing things to see; crystal balls, tarot decks, candles of all colors, books, and of course a very old Ouija board.  Now when I say Ouija Board I am not talking about the board game.  This thing was carved out of wood and the planchette was made of pure crystal.  This board did not speak of fine family fun as in a hasbro game, this thing meant business.

Becca (of course) grabbed it. “Look at this! Oh my god we have to do this.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I piped up.  Becca stem rolled me with her eyes.  In an ironic plot twist, if looks could kill, I’d be dead.

“Mikey. Can we please try this?”

Mike hesitated. “I don’t know…” Another ear lick followed and we were suddenly downstairs sitting around the board.

The only light we could see was from the moon and the many candles Andy and my cousin had lit.  Mike and my cousin put their hands on the planchette.  Becca began.

“Are there any spirits in this house that wish to speak with us?”

“We probably should protect ourselves with white light before we do that.” I casually mentioned.

I was just resurrected and killed again by Becca.  “It’s your soul babe.” I said defensively.

“Shut it.” came the response

Slowly the planchette began moving across the board. First a G.  Then an E.  Followed by and T.  Next came an O.  Then a U, and finally a T.

Becca was writing down the words as Mike and my cousin moved the planchette.  “I can’t quite make it out.”

“It says get out. ” I chimed in.

“Will you please shut up.” Becca spat at me.

“Holy shit!” screamed Mike.  The board was going back and forth, ‘ M A M A G A G A.’

“Mama Gaga” yelled my cousin as their fingers raced along the board.  I thought for a moment they were just messing with us until I saw the look on their faces.

“Fuck this thing.” screamed Mike and he flung the planchette.  Mike grabbed the board and without thinking, broke it clean in half.  He grabbed both pieces, opened the front door, and chucked it out.  Mike would be the hero that returns for the sequel.

We sat in an uneasy silence. “Let’s just go to bed.” Mike said.  “I’ve had enough of this shit.”

We blew out the candles, grabbed our sleeping bags and tried to forget what had just happened.  Before any of us could really get comfortable, the doorbell rang.

“Who the fuck could that be?” said Andy.

“Don’t open the door.” I said.  Everyone rolled their eyes at me.  I see my self as the voice of reason, they see me as the buzz kill.  There really is nothing common about sense.

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Mike threw open the door with a baseball bat in hand.  No one was there.  He looked left, then right.  Nothing.  Then he looked down.  There, sitting at his feet was the Ouija Board… and it was completely put back together.

We don’t know what ever became of that board, because we didn’t stick around to find out.   I grabbed all my shit and ran out of the house dragging my cousin with me.  You see, I would have been the girl who lived in the movie, not because I am particularly beautiful or special but because I am smart enough to know that when a spirit tells you to “Get Out” … you get the fuck out.

Keep Seeking,

TPJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 Home Remedies for Clearing Toxic Energy

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Toxic people are everywhere and with them, toxic energy.  Many of us perceive these lower vibrational energies but write them off.  When you are around some negative energy you will immediately start to feel drained. This is not some figment of your imagination.

I was once around a person so toxic I literally thought I had developed Narcolepsy.  Every time I would come home from being with him, I passed out.  I was in an energy coma and it took days to recover.    If you could see the energetic transference of energy you would see what looks like little hooks, that literally fly out from one person to another hooking into their chakras.  These “cords” can suck your precious energy right out from under your nose energizing the person stealing and and leaving you weak and vulnerable to psychic attack. This is very real and you must be vigilant in protecting yourself.

There are a few signs the body gives almost immediately when you are in the presence of an energy vampire.

  1. Headaches.  If every time you are with someone and you get a headache, you might want to think about what your body is telling you.  The amount of toxic energy you are absorbing is literally making your head throb.
  2. Fatigue.  If you are exhausted to the point of needing a nap, you might have been sucked dry by an energy vampire.  Sleep will help as it will allow the body to recharge.
  3. Anxiety.  I know it sounds strange but the human body is an amazing conductor.  It perceives things we love to ignore.  If you are always anxious around someone (and I’m not talking about puppy love butterflies) you might want to re-think the relationship.

Now there are many people who do not realize they are doing this.  So please do not automatically assume that someone who sucks your energy dry is a “bad” person.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.  They just haven’t mastered control of their energy and tend to take it from any one and everyone they can.

Please note, that these are tools which I use personally.  There are many more out there which are not included here, and there are many alternative ways in doing the ones listed below.  These are just a few things I have used along the way on my journey that have helped me.

SAGE

This tried and true remedy is my first go to.  I always keep white sage sticks around my house to cleanse the air.  It doesn’t matter who had been at my home, the Dalai Lama could have been staying here and I will still Sage after he leaves.  People carry all sorts of energies with them so cleaning your space is important for a clear and focused channel.

EPSOM SALT BATH

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Water is not only the best cleanser but it is extremely healing.  In many countries bathing in the sea at the start of a new year is thought to was away the energy of the past and bring in a fresh new start to your year.  Salt is a great cleanser and not to mention a good source of magnesium.  Pour one cup into a warm bath, relax and let the salt carry away the bad energies.  You can even envision the gunk going down the drain when you are done.  Add fresh rose petals, lavender, or lemon oil to enlighten, relax or energize you.

SPRAYS

They make wonderful Sage sprays that you can literally carry in your purse for emergency cleansing.  These are wonderful.  Whenever you are feeling like you are carrying more than your own energetic weight, these sprays are fantastic for clearing the air.

CRYSTALS

Crystals are so very powerful.  There are so many of them to choose from and they each have different properties.  When removing energy that is negative, Black Obsidian is my crystal of choice.  It literally sucks all the negativity out of your auric field.  Be sure to sage it before using and after using.  You can charge crystals under the full moon but remember that you are resetting the stone.  So any good energy of yours it was holding will be gone when charged under the moon.  That being said, when you first buy them always charge them in moonlight.

I sometimes carry a small piece of black obsidian in my bag to hold just in case I am around a truly toxic situation or person.  It helps!

CHANTING

Chanting is a wonderful way to open yourself up to the higher dimensions, and dispel any negativity and toxicity you have garnered along the journey of life.  It is also a way to absolve Karmic ties and influences from this and past lives.   Chanting is wonderful, because sincere daily practice can actually remove toxic people from your life without you ever having to do a thing.   The universe will give you what is truly for your highest good. I cannot say enough about chanting and will expand on the topic in a future post.

YOGA

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Movement of any sort is really good at getting rid of bad energy.  Dancing, running, yoga, pilates, sports, swimming, you name it, it works.  They will all work in moving the toxic energies out of your auric field.  Since they also raise your endorphins, you will feel super happy which is always the best way to combat negativity. Movement is a must to stay positive and I highly suggest doing it.

LEMONS

Lemons are amazing little fruits!  They have the ability to suck up all the negative energy in a room and absorb it into their porous little bodies.  There are so many uses for this super power fruit I can’t even begin to expand upon them all.  Here are my top three:

  1. Put a bowl of lemons out when you feel you need to clear the air.  The lemons will absorb any and all toxic residue left behind by guests, ex-lovers or even by you after being out and about for the day.
  2. Have someone in your life you need to chill the hell out? Cut open half a lemon. Place a piece of paper with that persons name inside.  Close the two halves.  Wrap the lemon in tin foil and throw it in the freezer.  I sometimes yell “Chill Out”  if that person is especially irritating.  You can remove the lemon from your freezer whenever you are ready.
  3. Lemon Water.  Drink as much of it as you can.  It not only clears the skin but it literally resets your system if you are suffering from anxiety  or depression.  Drink a gallon of lemon water a day and you will see what miracles can happen.

These are just some of my favorite things when it comes eliminating toxic energies.   If you find yourself in the presence of a toxic person who you can quickly remove yourself from, great!  If like most of us, you find them creeping into all areas of your life, relaz and remember, you have the power to rid yourself of toxic energy.

Spread the Love,

TPJ

Be Careful Who You Trust

Tales Of A Psychic Junkie 4.jpegMy whole life I have attracted needy people who do nothing more than drain my precious energy.  Having this spirit of always wanting to help or take care of people led me attract strays. We are all like this in some ways, especially if we are givers.  Givers by nature attract takers, so we must be super careful to make sure that we don’t allow toxic people to slip in under the radar because we are so blinded by our need to help or save them.

It is not just intimate relationships that bring these people.  Toxic people can come in all different forms: a parent, teacher, employer, friend, lover or partner.  I have had so many one-sided toxic friendships, it was almost comical.  Whenever anyone entered my life, it was just a matter of time before their true colors (and motives) would become clear, and I was desperately trying to figure out how to rid myself of the trash.

A few years back I had come to meet a woman who had just broken up with her boyfriend, and was in the midst of a horrifying fight with her best friend.  She asked if I would want to meet her in midtown for lunch and thinking we had a bit in common as we were both actresses, I went.  The entire time all she did was complain to me about her friend and how mean she was, etc.  I was okay with it, because 1, people need to vent. 2. They always seem to feel like venting to me (must be my face) and 3. We all have moments when our friends piss us off.  It doesn’t’ mean we don’t love them, it means we are simply annoyed at the very human thing our friend may have done.

I didn’t’ think much of it and went on my way.  Over the next few weeks this young lady was attached to me like flies on shit.  She called me every day.  We met for coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks (even though I don’t drink) I saw more of her than I did my own reflection and being a Leo and often times very vain, that is saying a lot.  I started to notice that every single time we hung out she would bad mouth people.

Feeling uneasy about this fledgling new relationship, I found myself sitting in a small boutique shop on the lower east side getting a reading.

The woman before me shuffled the Tarot and laid out my cards.

“You must be careful who you trust.  All around you are not friends.  Make sure you dot your i’s and cross your t’s because otherwise you may find something you have given is lost”

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Hmmm. I thought.

“There is someone (a woman) around you who feigns friendship because she wants something from you.  She continued

“What does she want?”  I asked

“It looks like she wants you to help her in some way.  It will be revealed to you in time, but be careful.  She is not a woman who chooses her words wisely.  Slander and gossip fall from her tongue easily.  She is surface, nothing lies beneath.  Vapid and self-centered.  This is not someone you want to have in your life and if you persist the Universe will remove her.”

I thanked the woman for the reading and went about wandering the streets of NY for the next two hours pondering what she had told me.

A few days later that young women finally asked me.

“I am writing a screenplay.  I was hoping you would direct it.”

Now this wasn’t a horrible request, as at the time I was always looking for new projects.  So I set off without another thought, or a contract.

For weeks we worked on her project. I rewrote her horribly written screenplay into something interesting and compelling.  All seemed to be well until one day I just stopped hearing from her.  She would not answer any calls or emails.  This parasite that had become another appendage on my already slight frame had all but amputated herself from my life.  It was as if she’d just dropped off the face of the earth.

Months went by before I understood what had happened.  This young lady had taken what we had worked on together and shopped it around to another director.  She then proceeded to bad mouth me to everyone she met, many of whom told me about it albeit it months after.  I was devastated.  What had I done?  Where had I gone wrong?  Then, I remembered:

“You must be careful who you trust.  All around you are not friends.  Make sure you dot your i’s and cross your t’s because otherwise you may find something you have given is lost”

There it was.  I had not heeded a warning that came to me almost six months before I had made that stupid error.  We all attract people into our lives who are not always the best for us.  We tend to know it immediately, but rarely listen. There are a few things you can do to rid yourself of toxic energy when you find yourself overwhelmed by it.   I’ve written about a few of them in ,7 Home Remedies for Clearing Toxic Energy.  I find that these work wonders and can help gear you to the right vibrational matches.

I had learned a lot from this experience.  From that point on this psychic junkie was no longer going to simply trust anyone… I was going to learn this lesson, although it would take me many years to actually get the hang of it and I am still no where near mastering it.

Keep Seeking,

TPJ

 

 

Reshuffle. Reshuffle. Reshuffle

 

 

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It is the plight of every great psychic when they are giving a reading, to have the person on the receiving end become less than thrilled with the outcome.  After all, most people aren’t looking for the truth, they are waiting to be told what they want to hear.

My dear friend Bertha had asked me to take her to see a very good psychic in the Bronx who we will call “Bella.”  Now I had gone to Bella many times and she was as good as they come.  She was rough around the edges, and highly paranoid but other than that, she was a fantastic reader.

I went first and Bertha waited outside in the lobby.  Bella didn’t want to cross energies.  After my reading Bertha went in for hers.  I paced the lobby waiting for her and a half hour later she emerged, less than enamored.

“How was it?”  I asked

“She’s the worst.” Was the reply.

“Well what did she tell you?”

Bertha looked like she had sucked down and enourmous bag of sour patch kids.  Her whole face was puckered in such a way I thought it might cave into her head.

“She said that Rony and I are not going to make it.”

I had heard very little about this Rony character.  All I knew was that Bertha and Rony had been hooking up for the last three months.  I had never met him in person as he liked to keep himself away from her friends.  While I found this a bit odd, I just tossed it up to each is own and went about my way.

Bertha was so perturbed at this idea she turned to me and sharply said, “I want you to read my cards.”

I almost choked.  “What?”

“You can read cards.  You tell me what I know in my heart to be true.”

Against my better judgement I went home and obliged my slowly psychcotic turning friend.

I shuffled, she picked her cards and we went into the reading.  The minute I saw the tarot cards I gasped.   The King of Wands and The Page of Cups were followed by the Devil, the Lovers and finally the Three of Swords.  Underneath the King of Wands was the Queen of Wands.

“Bertha.  Is Rony married?! I exclaimed in a non-existant attempt at holding back.

Bertha turned beet red.  “Is that what the cards are saying?  He’s still with that bitch.”

“Bertha, that bitch is his wife and he’s not leaving her.  He’s not going to end it with her.”

“Reshuffle.” she spat

At first I was a little taken aback at her brazen demand.  But ever the empath, I decided to appease my slowly unhinging friend.  I reshuffled and laid the cards out.

“Same outcome Bertha.”  I said.  As a matter of fact, almost all the same cards appeared.”

Bertha slammed her fist into my favorite throw pillow sending the beads flying.  Perhaps we should’ve discussed her anger issues.  I thought it best not to bring it up.

“Reshuffle.” She said.

“Bertha.  The outcome is going to be the same…”

“Just do it.”

I did.  Four more times with no change to the outcome.  It was as if the cards were becoming more impatient with her by the minute.  When the Ten of Swords appeared followed by the Three of Swords and lastly the Devil, I’d had enough.

“My cards are off the clock. They’ve given you you’re answer.  Do what you want with the information.  My fingers are raw from shuffling.”

Bertha pushed the cards off the bed in the most petulant of ways and huffed her way out of my apartment.  She slammed the door so hard my Marilyn paintings went crashing to the ground.

It would be four months before she would speak to me again.  And this was only after Ms. Bertha was dropped by her married lover who incidentally had a restraining order against her.  Ms. Bertha learned the hard way that sometimes in life, you just cannot reshuffle.

 

Keep Seeking,

TPJ

 

 

A Hollywood Tale

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Our newest tale hails from the year 1974 when a film crew loaded in on a small island off the coast of Massachusetts known as Martha’s Vineyard.

Now how did the psychic junkie come to hear this tale you ask? How else?  On one of my late night psychic binges, I came across a woman named  Jody on Keen.  She told me she was the daughter of a famous Salem Witch.

I can’t remember what the reading was about or if her predictions came true, but I do remember that we got onto the subject of movies and she told me this story about her mother and a Hollywood prediction made one Sunday afternoon in the summer of 1974.

Some members of the crew had found their way to their store in Salem.  As they wandered through, they were mumbling and complaining about issues they were having on set.

The Salem Witch inquired as to what they were working on and if anyone she knew was in it.  One of the crew members, a rather portly man replied, “I doubt it.  This director is really green, he has no idea what he’s doing.  It’s embarrassing.  All I know is,  I won’t be telling anybody I know I worked on this crap.”

“May I ask his name?” Inquired the Salem Witch.

“Why?  It doesn’t matter. You’ll never hear of him again after this movie is released … if it’s released.”

The men chuckled amongst themselves.

“Humor me.” She retorted.

“Steven.  Steven Spielberg.”

“I hate to bust up your pity party, but you’re dead wrong about him.” She said with quiet confidence.

The crew members went silent.

“Not only is this movie going to be successful, but this man will be one of the most successful directors of our time.”

She turned to the portly man, “And you … you will tell EVERYONE you ever meet that you worked on this film.”

I don’t have to tell you how this prediction ended.  Not only did Spielberg become the prophesied director that the Salem Witch spoke of, but his “crappy” little movie known as Jaws went on to become the seventh highest ranking film of all time before Star Wars was release in 1978.  And as of January 2018, it is the 204th-highest-grossing film of all time with $470.7 million world-wide, and the 66th highest domestically with a total North American gross of $260 million. Not bad for a green director whom no one would ever hear from again.

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Click here to watch Jaws.  I mean if you haven’t seen it and you are a living breathing human over 17 … you’re welcome.

So there you have it folks. Whether this story is really true or just some sort of fantastical tale told from the mouth of witches I’ll never really know.  What I do know however, is that a premonition from a Salem Witch in the summer of 1974, found itself coming to fruition and some thirty years later, whispering softly into the ears of a cinephile psychic junkie.

 

The Liar, the Bitch and the BJ: Part II

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“He’s lying,” Said Scarlett without so much as a pause.  “Whatever line of crap he is giving you … it is all a lie.”

It had been two days since my boyfriend Matt came back from LA with a little secret that with the help of my psychic Scarlet and my best friend was being slowly revealed.

I looked at the number written on my notepad.  Brigit.  I could call her and find out what really happened. She would tell me right?  After all, we gals are supposed to stick together.

I immediately called Stephie. ” What do you think? Should I just call this slut puppy and  see if she will tell me the truth?”

Ever the feminist Stephie replied, “Well don’t call her a slut.  WE don’t know that she’s actually a slut. She might not have known that Matt had a girlfriend.  He’s very good at lying, he probably lied to her too.”

I thought about it for a moment.  It was true.  There was no reason to throw this girl under the bus, after all she might be a victim too.

Stephie arrived at my apartment an hour later.  We dialed the phone making sure to  keep it on speaker.

“Hello” came a familiar voice.

“Hi. This is Matt’s girlfriend. It appears you might have spent some quality time with him the past weekend.”

Silence. Then:

“I might have met him.  I meet a lot of people in my line of work.”

I felt the sarcasm rising in my throat but cut myself off right before the snark left my lips.

“Might have met him?  I know you met, I saw of picture of the two of you at the club.”

Silence again. “I can’t believe this.  He… I can’t believe this.”

“So it’s true?  You hooked up with him?”

“No it’s not true.” she retorted.

Stephie crinkled her nose.

I admit I was a bit taken aback.  Typically when I called some chic that Matt hooked up with they were all too willing to apologize and admit it.  Was it possible that this chic was just a female version of Matt?

“Listen, I’m sure if I were you, I’d be embarrassed right now but woman to woman, I just want to know the truth.”

I thought for a moment that Brigit might have had some compassion for me seeing that she is a woman too.  She hadn’t known he was taken.  She might have even thought that he was going to have a long distance relationship with her.  Sure they just met for 24 hours but stranger things have happened.

“Look.  If your boyfriend is cheating on you, that’s not my problem, it’s yours. ”

I held the phone away from my face to avoid blowing it up with my energetic rage.

“So you knew about me.”

“He told me twice he had a girlfriend but like I said, we didn’t hook up.”  She was becoming suddenly very brazen.

“Well he told me you did.” I lied.  “So why would he say that if it wasn’t true.”

“Well if he told you then why are you calling me?” was the response.

Touché, I thought. Before I could react, Stephie had grabbed the phone “You stupid slut!  Where are your morals? This must just be another day in your life when some random guy with a girlfriend uses your mouth as a toilet bowl.”

With that I grabbed the phone and hung it up.

“Well.  Now I know it’s true.”

“I cannot believe that girl.  She is what is wrong with women.  Women do not stick together, they tear each other apart.  If she would have told Matt to go fuck himself then she would be…”

“Steph.  Who cares.  She is one on a long list of many.  I know you are hoping that somehow you can led the charge on the “I am Woman” movement but you might be in for a bigger fight then you anticipate.”

Stephie nodded her head.

“Besides.  We have a bigger fish to fry.”

I text Matt that he should not come home because I was afraid I couldn’t be responsible for what I might do to him.  He of course arrived a half hour later.

“I spoke to Brigit.”

Matt had that incredulous look on his face that always overcomes me with a feeling of wanting to slap him.

“I did not hook up with that girl.”

“She said you did.”

“She wouldn’t say that.”

Wow were these two meant for each other, I thought.

“Why not?”

“Why would some girl tell you she hooked up with your boyfriend?”

“I think the real question is why would my boyfriend hook up with some random girl?”

“You know what, you’re crazy.” he spat at me.

There it was … the “you’re crazy” line.  The line that admits guilt for all sociopaths and narcissists almost instantaneously.  Rest assured young ones when you hear that line, it’s game over and you have won.

Matt screamed at the top of his lungs in hopes that the volume would somehow trigger a reaction in my brain proving him innocent once and for all.

But all I kept hearing  was Scarlet. “He’s lying.” Whatever line of crap he’s giving you is just a lie.”

I threw a vase at Matt and chased him out of my apartment with a broom.  It would be another whole two months before Matt would admit to what happened out in LA.  By that time we were already broken up as there would be one more incident that would finally cause me to snap. And as with all things in my world of having to know, there was one very in tune psychic who would be advising this junkie on how exactly to rid myself of the trash once and for all.

The Liar, the Bitch and the BJ: Part 1

Hell Hath No Fury

Our story begins in a little town above Mexico called Los Angeles.  It is here that Matt (my now very ex-boyfriend)  meets a girl we will call *Brigit.  While the details of Brigit and Matt are not important, what is important was how I found out about them.

It was 10am and Matt should have been on a flight back home.  I hadn’t heard a word from him since 4pm the day before. I called his phone.  Straight to voicemail.

I paced the office for a few more moments then decided I was going to break into his phone.  With all the trust issues I was having, Matt gave me the code to his VM.  I called his phone and quickly punched in the code.

“Hi it’s Brigit.  It was so nice meeting you tonight.  Thank you so much for dinner.  I had a great time.  Hope to talk to you soon … (she left her phone number which I quickly jotted down).

“Who the fuck is Brigit? Maybe they were all out to dinner and she’s a good friend of his friend or something stupid like that?  Don’t jump right to the worst case scenario.” I thought to myself.  The messages continued.  Then there she was … again… this morning.

“Hey … it’s me (in her best sexy voice) I just want to say thank you … for everything.  Have a safe flight home.  Can’t wait to talk to you again.  Okay.  Mmmm. Bye.”

Scarlet was right!!  Who is Scarlet you ask? Well she is my trusty psychic of course!  You didn’t think I was going to go through all this without the aid of a psychic did you? A few days earlier when I started to get that uneasy feeling in my stomach I made the call.

“I see him with a brunette.  He’s at a club.  I feel like … Oh okay.  I see her giving him oral sex.  But that is it.  They’re in a club bathroom.  I hear a lot of music and there are so many people around.  He doesn’t love her or anything.  He sees her something like a toilet bowl.  Just to get his business done.”

With this newest development I was downright devastated.  How can I call him out when he’s three thousand miles away?  What am I going to say? A psychic told me?  He’d  have me committed and not the wedding kind.  No.  I was going to have to take matters into my own brain.

When Matt arrived I played dumb as if I didn’t know anything. What Matt didn’t know was that with the help of my best friend Stephie, I had concocted a plan to trap that lying snake.

Sitting on the couch I texted a friend of mine in LA.  I gave her instructions on what was happening  and she readily agreed to help us. As soon ash she received my text, she called me.

“Hi Gabby.  It’s been a while how are you?  I’m okay.  What’s up? You seem so upset.”

Matt wasn’t really paying attention to me or my call.  That’s the great thing about narcissists.  Total self absorption.

“Yes Matt’s here.  Why?  Okay.  Well why can’t you just tell me now.”

Another great thing about narcissists is that when they do hear their name, they immediately respond.

“Okay well then call me later.  Bye.” I hung up

“What was that about babe?” he questioned mouth full of Cheetos.

“I don’t know.  Gabby was acting really strange.  She said she had to tell me something but wanted to wait till I was alone.  It’s probably nothing.  She’s always so melodramatic.” I said.

“Why don’t you call her back? I’ll take a walk.” I looked over at Matt slowly.  The way every good psycho girlfriend does when she knows that shit is about to go down.

“No. I”ll call her later.  Let’s go eat.” I jumped up from the couch.  I couldn’t help but smile as I grabbed my sweater.  This was going to be fun.

Matt and I get to the restaurant. Right before we stepped inside I told myself that if he asks me again about Gabby he definitely cheated on me.  Because let’s face it, it wasn’t like Matt to give even a mild shit about anything any one of my friends had to say … unless it was about him.

As our pizza arrived Matt did the unforgivable setting the wheels in motion for my epic entrapment plan … he asks, “Have you heard back from Gabby?”

GOTCHA!

I smiled to myself and mustering my best performance to date (my acting talents were wasted on this crap) I grabbed my phone.  “No. But ya know what. Why don’t I call her now.” I said

It’s showtime! I thought as I got up from the table and went outside and called Steph.  “Okay remember.  You KNOW the truth.  Scarlet told you and the messages confirmed it.  Nothing he says will deter you from your mission, got it?”

“Got it.” I said as my heart burst through my throat.  “But I kind of feel bad.  I feel like I should just tell him the truth of how I found out.”

“No.  The truth will not work with him.  He is immune to the truth.  And he will only twist it and use it against you.  The truth isn’t going to get you anywhere in this situation.  Put on your big girl heels and kick him in the balls.  It’s the only way.”

She was right.  I was at the end of my relationship with Matt anyway.  This was the straw my psychic Angela had predicted a year ago.

I took a deep breath, gathered my strength and went back inside.  Without any warning I sat right across from Matt, looked him straight in the eye and said, “Who’s Brigit?”

I thought Matt died in his chair. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Was the result of all that brain churning.

“Really you don’t?  She didn’t blow you in a club bathroom after you guys went to dinner?”

Matt choked on his pizza. His eyes shifted left, right, down and back as he searched his pea brain for excuses. Similar to this giph below of Mr. Jax Taylor from Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules.

#vanderpumprules

Matt stayed by my side the whole night and declined to go out for a drink with the guys.  While Matt slept (albeit not well) he had no idea that this little “situation” was far from over as a matter of fact, the wrath of the Psychic Junkie had only just begun …