The Rainbow Bridge: All Pets Go To Heaven

 

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Losing a pet is a horrible loss.  These beloved furry creatures come into our lives and become part of us not unlike our family.  When they pass, whether it be natural or through tragedy, the loss can be devastating, and more often than not, we are left with so many unanswered questions.

I found myself in this very situation when my dog ( who was originally my ex-boyfriends dog)  died of asphyxiation during a horrible heat wave when he left him alone in a hot apartment with no air conditioner in 100 degree heat.

I don’t think devastated quite describes the feeling I had when I got the phone call from my ex screaming that Bink was dead.  My brother and I went to meet him to help him take care of the body.  We had been broken up for quite some time, however we all put our differences aside in order to make sure that this little being who had touched all of our lives, was properly taken care of.  It was one of the more emotionally heartbreaking experiences of my life.

All the thoughts that went through my head were the same as when my grandmother died;  “Did he suffer?” “Was he in pain?”  “He must have been so scared.”  All I could do was cry whenever I thought about his final moments here on earth, and the fact that I could do nothing to save him was eating me alive.

A good friend of mine suggested we go see a pet psychic.

“This woman is amazing.  She can talk to all the animals that have crossed over.”

Having nothing to lose, we went.

As I sat before Connie I could not contain my emotion.

“Don’t worry sweetie, you will feel much better when we are done here.”

I nodded.

“Okay” she said.  “You have quite a number of pets coming through.  There is a rabbit with one ear that is really excited to see you.  Boy is she cute.”

I almost choked.  My bunny Hopper was a rescue from a testing lab many moons ago.  Because of all the chemicals tested on her mother, she was born with one half of one ear, a very clear trait that Connie had picked up on right away.   In that very moment, I knew this woman was the real deal.

“My baby!”  I said, with tears in my eyes.  “She’s okay.”

“Oh yes.  But she says you are not here for her, you are here for him, and she is pointing to this really adorable English Bulldog.”  “She says he just got there.” “Bank, Brink, ”

“Bink.” I said

“He wants you to know he is very happy, and that he didn’t suffer.  He knows you are worried about that.  He is also showing me that the angels came for him and he just found himself here in this field, he didn’t feel any pain, it was just like one minute he was in the house, the next in a field.  He says he can breathe really well, which he’s excited about.  Also he said that they have given him a ton of real peanut butter ice cream which is a lot better than the stuff he had on earth.

I couldn’t believe it.  Bink loved peanut butter and he LOVED ice cream so I bought him these doggie ice creams that were peanut butter flavored.  I always had a feeling he didn’t really like them as much as the real thing.

“Wow.  Now I know you are talking to him.”

“He said that will make you happy.” She said thoughtfully.

“This is cute.  He is showing me that he came to visit you the other night.  He said that you were sleeping, but not in your room, in another room.  He was jumping up onto the bed to try and comfort you.  He said you felt him.”

“Whoa.  I was sleeping in my best friends room because I couldn’t stop crying.  In the middle of the night we both felt what seemed like two paws continuously pressing down on different sides of the bed.  Steph said she thought it might be Bink trying to find me.”

“Yeah, he isn’t used to his spirit form yet so he was having a hard time getting up on the bed.”

“He always had a hard time getting up on the bed because he was so overweight.” I said

Connie laughed in a very sweet way that gave me permission to laugh too.

“well my dear, we have come to the end of this reading.  I hope you enjoyed your time with Bink.”

“Thanks so much Connie.  I feel like I’m finally able to say goodbye.”

“No, no sweetheart.  It’s never goodbye.  He’s waiting by the rainbow bridge.  That is where they all are.  When you cross over, he will come to meet you with your relatives.  Then you all will cross over the bridge to the other side.  Until that time, all our beloved pets play in this beautiful place between where they are loved and cared for, and act as guides for their human counterparts.”

I didn’t speak but let the tears flow down my face.

“We are all on a spiritual journey sweetie, even our pets.  It is all beautifully designed by the divine in a way we can never really understand until we are reunited once more with our true form. So remember, when your best furry friend is called home, don’t say goodbye.  Say see you soon.”

 

Keep Seeking,

TPJ

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Live Through Your Heart

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My most recent foray into the world of the unknown was via a lovely woman we’ll call Kayla.  As per usual, I was pacing restlessly in my home, jonesing for a psychic fix.  As I’ve gotten older, my time between readings has gotten significantly shorter.  Perhaps this is due to my new found trust of my own gift, or my refusal to pay the ridiculous fees often associated with sub par talent.

So here I was, on a full moon no less, searching for answers.  The minute I heard Kayla’s melodic voice on the other end of the phone I knew I had made the right choice.

“Hello my dear, what can I do for you today?”

I immediately launched into a laundry list of things I felt I needed answers to.  Lately the list had been growing longer and longer, so naturally I felt out of breath when finally finished.

“My darling girl.  The universe is challenging you to live through your heart.”

What? I thought.  What does that mean?  I just poured my soul out onto the table for your clairaudient ears and this is the conclusion you come to?

“I know your life has been one that has not been easy.  Your road has been fraught with traumatic life events that you have had a rather hard time dealing with.  You fear they will never end, but they will.  You need to clean house honey.  Get rid of any toxic energy surrounding you, and there is quite a bit of that, cut those chords and move on.  Where you’re going, you won’t miss any of it.  You get the idea?

I got the idea.

“You need to learn to live through your heart.  Do what makes you happy.  Only surround yourselves with those that bring you joy.  Detach from the drama of life and immerse yourself in your passion.  Forgive and forget the past.  The time is now, to rise up and become who you are destined to be.  The Universe not only supports it, they demand it.

“That’s a tough pill to swallow, and quite a bit of added pressure”. I thought

“Honey, when we die, and we all finally go to the other side, no one there cares how much money we had, how insta-famous we were, how many parties we went to, how many people liked us on FB or how many phony baloney friendships we had, all they wanna know is how much did you love?  Did you give it?  Did you get it? Did you spread it. ”

Did you give it, did you get it, did you spread it for a brief moment in my sick, twisted mind reminded me of a PSA for an STD.  My mind started going in all directions when I heard Kaylas sweet voice…

“Are you still there dear?  Did I lose you?”

“No, not at all, my thoughts were temporarily hijacked I’m back.”

“Happens to all of us.  Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No, you were great.  Many thanks for your help.”

We hung up and I rated her five stars on Keen.

There was something about this reading that sat deeply with me.  So often we focus on things that are really not important.  We get hurt, upset, offended and angry at things that are not really deserving of our precious energy.  And we become consumed with  having to be better, smarter, richer, more “popular” rather than stopping for a moment to look and appreciate all the wonderful things this life has given us… like the ability to breathe for example.

I’ve since shifted my focus dramatically.  Every day I try to remember to focus on the most important thing and perhaps the ONLY thing that is even real: LOVE.

Give It, Get It, Spread It,

TPJ

American Psycho

 

shutterstock_1826954.jpgIt often happens in this wonderful world of intimate connections, that we meet someone whom, be it on the internet, or in person, we fall instantly.  It’s like this person just stepped out of our dreams with all the details of the perfect mate.  Their pearly white teeth sparkle in the sunlight, their eyes gleam, they say the right things…they are just perfect.

One day many moons ago, I was introduced to such a creature.  He was tall, handsome, and very charming.  He was not pompous, or pretentious and seemed to be very sincere in all our conversations.  I joked a few times to my best friend saying, “There must be something wrong with him.”

Ignoring my intuition, I continued this relationship with *Paul.  I would often stay over at his place, a rather cozy little condo at 15 Central Park West.  If you have never been to 15 Central Park West, google it, I assure you it’s quite something to behold.  He took me to all the best restaurants, plays, parties, and private events I would otherwise never have been to.  I felt like a princess in a whirlwind fairytale romance that was almost too good to be true.

Now looking back, there was of course some very suspicious behavior, but it was nothing that I really paid much attention to.  When it comes to matters of the heart, I was more La vie en rose, and it was going to take quite a punch in the gut to get those rose colored glasses off.

Almost a year into our relationship, I had the fortunate good sense to go see my usual psychic Gina.  Gina was always very straightforward with me, which I very much appreciated.

“He’s hiding something from you.” She said with finite confidence.

I twisted my face in a scowl.  There was nothing worse than hearing what I didn’t want to hear.

“Who?” I questioned, completely ruling out Paul in my utopia of my mind.

“This guy you are with.  First initial P.”

Fuck.

“He’e leading some kind of double life or something.  He’s in love with you, but I feel a lot of deception around him.  Things that will become clear to you very soon.  You need to be careful.  I feel like this news you’re going to get is gonna devastate you.”

Fuck, fuck. fuck.

I thanked Gina for the reading and went on my way.  In my usual fashion I began talking myself out of her prediction.  Not everything she ever told me came true right?  She was right a few times.  Okay most of the time but who was counting?  When it came to me and Paul, there was no possible way she could be right.  He was my American Dream.”

“I have to show you something and I don’t want you to flip out.”

Why do people always preface bad news with that kind of headline?   I’m a Leo, with Leo in Mars, and Venus, as a matter of fact, six of my nine planets are in fire signs.  Of course I’m going to flip out!

“I was in the Hamptons this weekend with Alan, and we went to this white party.  Ang, Paul was there.”

“So?” I said. ” I already know about this.  He told me he had a work event out there.”

“No Ang.  He was there with his wife.”

I choked on my coffee.

“That’s impossible.  He’s not married.”

Stephie nodded her head.  “The minute Alan told me that was his wife I went to talk to her.  Her name is Lorraine, they’ve been married for fifteen years.  She spends most of the time living at their house in Palm Springs with their four children.”

I dropped my coffee cup.  It shattered. ” Four Children??!! No. There’s some kind of mistake.”

“It’s all true. She showed me pictures on her phone.  She was actually very nice.  I don’t think she has any clue about you.”

“Did he see you?” I asked.

“Oh yeah.  I made it my business to make eye contact with him while I was talking to Lorraine.  He tried to corner me at the bar later on, but Alan rescued me.  He said he could explain,  I told him to fuck off.”

That was the end of the line for me and Paul.  He confessed that he was leading a double life.  He was having trouble in his marriage…the trouble being that he was married.  I  couldn’t believe the lengths he had gone to to deceive me.  The bachelor pad with no sign of wife or family.  The trips, dinners, dates, promises, a second cell phone which his wife knew nothing about.  It was all too much to bear.  My American Dream had turned out to be an America Psycho.  I broke it off with Paul, got his wife’s number from Alan and told her everything.

Two years later Paul was officially divorced and I was sitting back in front of Gina learning for the first time that the man I was gonna marry was named Joe.  He was a writer, and I was going to meet him in December.  Seeing as it was already October, this Psychic Junkie had only two short months to put the past behind her and get ready to meet Joe.

 

Best Not To Mess With Ouija

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Every paranormal thriller that stars one of these intriguing little boards shows a bunch of unsuspecting teenagers having stupidly acquired one, after being warned not to mess with it, sitting around attempting to speak to the dead.  Before long they are being haunted, demonized, and murdered until the hero or heroine destroys it once and for all … or so they think.

It was the summer of 1999 and we were living on Long Island.  My cousin had told us about a friend of his, Mike, whose mother was allegedly a witch.  Mike lived alone with his mom in this creepy old house not unlike the one from  the Amityville horror.  There were rumors that the house was haunted, and that black magic spells were being performed there by Mikes mother and those from her coven, but there was never any real proof.

Mikes mother was away and it was decided that he was going to have a party, and we were all invited. We were told to bring sleeping bags in case people wanted to crash.  My cousin and I couldn’t resist as we had a penchant for creepy houses, and possible hauntings, plus Mike was really fun.

Being intuitive myself, the moment we pulled up to the house I could feel a strange vibe.  It wasn’t particularly evil, it was just strange.  My concerns faded quickly when Mike threw open the front door dressed in a Hawaiian shirt blasting Bob Marley.  You could smell the BBQ in the back and I was starving so any thoughts of ghosts quickly disappeared.

There were only a handful of us who stayed after midnight.  We were all gathered in Mikes living room when Andy, a handsome yet completely clueless young lad had a fantastic idea.

“Hey Mike, let’s go up in the attic and check out your moms voodoo psychic shit.”  Andy would be the first to be killed if this was a movie.

“I don’t know man.  She specifically told us to stay out of there.”

Becca leaned in seductively.  She was a beautiful girl with sun streaked hair and perfect features. She would be killed second for sure, most likely while having sex with Mike.

“Come on.  I want to see.  I’ve heard so much about this place.”

Becca licked Mikes ear and before we knew it, we were in the attic.  There were so many amazing things to see; crystal balls, tarot decks, candles of all colors, books, and of course a very old Ouija board.  Now when I say Ouija Board I am not talking about the board game.  This thing was carved out of wood and the planchette was made of pure crystal.  This board did not speak of fine family fun as in a hasbro game, this thing meant business.

Becca (of course) grabbed it. “Look at this! Oh my god we have to do this.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I piped up.  Becca stem rolled me with her eyes.  In an ironic plot twist, if looks could kill, I’d be dead.

“Mikey. Can we please try this?”

Mike hesitated. “I don’t know…” Another ear lick followed and we were suddenly downstairs sitting around the board.

The only light we could see was from the moon and the many candles Andy and my cousin had lit.  Mike and my cousin put their hands on the planchette.  Becca began.

“Are there any spirits in this house that wish to speak with us?”

“We probably should protect ourselves with white light before we do that.” I casually mentioned.

I was just resurrected and killed again by Becca.  “It’s your soul babe.” I said defensively.

“Shut it.” came the response

Slowly the planchette began moving across the board. First a G.  Then an E.  Followed by and T.  Next came an O.  Then a U, and finally a T.

Becca was writing down the words as Mike and my cousin moved the planchette.  “I can’t quite make it out.”

“It says get out. ” I chimed in.

“Will you please shut up.” Becca spat at me.

“Holy shit!” screamed Mike.  The board was going back and forth, ‘ M A M A G A G A.’

“Mama Gaga” yelled my cousin as their fingers raced along the board.  I thought for a moment they were just messing with us until I saw the look on their faces.

“Fuck this thing.” screamed Mike and he flung the planchette.  Mike grabbed the board and without thinking, broke it clean in half.  He grabbed both pieces, opened the front door, and chucked it out.  Mike would be the hero that returns for the sequel.

We sat in an uneasy silence. “Let’s just go to bed.” Mike said.  “I’ve had enough of this shit.”

We blew out the candles, grabbed our sleeping bags and tried to forget what had just happened.  Before any of us could really get comfortable, the doorbell rang.

“Who the fuck could that be?” said Andy.

“Don’t open the door.” I said.  Everyone rolled their eyes at me.  I see my self as the voice of reason, they see me as the buzz kill.  There really is nothing common about sense.

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Mike threw open the door with a baseball bat in hand.  No one was there.  He looked left, then right.  Nothing.  Then he looked down.  There, sitting at his feet was the Ouija Board… and it was completely put back together.

We don’t know what ever became of that board, because we didn’t stick around to find out.   I grabbed all my shit and ran out of the house dragging my cousin with me.  You see, I would have been the girl who lived in the movie, not because I am particularly beautiful or special but because I am smart enough to know that when a spirit tells you to “Get Out” … you get the fuck out.

Keep Seeking,

TPJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 Home Remedies for Clearing Toxic Energy

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Toxic people are everywhere and with them, toxic energy.  Many of us perceive these lower vibrational energies but write them off.  When you are around some negative energy you will immediately start to feel drained. This is not some figment of your imagination.

I was once around a person so toxic I literally thought I had developed Narcolepsy.  Every time I would come home from being with him, I passed out.  I was in an energy coma and it took days to recover.    If you could see the energetic transference of energy you would see what looks like little hooks, that literally fly out from one person to another hooking into their chakras.  These “cords” can suck your precious energy right out from under your nose energizing the person stealing and and leaving you weak and vulnerable to psychic attack. This is very real and you must be vigilant in protecting yourself.

There are a few signs the body gives almost immediately when you are in the presence of an energy vampire.

  1. Headaches.  If every time you are with someone and you get a headache, you might want to think about what your body is telling you.  The amount of toxic energy you are absorbing is literally making your head throb.
  2. Fatigue.  If you are exhausted to the point of needing a nap, you might have been sucked dry by an energy vampire.  Sleep will help as it will allow the body to recharge.
  3. Anxiety.  I know it sounds strange but the human body is an amazing conductor.  It perceives things we love to ignore.  If you are always anxious around someone (and I’m not talking about puppy love butterflies) you might want to re-think the relationship.

Now there are many people who do not realize they are doing this.  So please do not automatically assume that someone who sucks your energy dry is a “bad” person.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.  They just haven’t mastered control of their energy and tend to take it from any one and everyone they can.

Please note, that these are tools which I use personally.  There are many more out there which are not included here, and there are many alternative ways in doing the ones listed below.  These are just a few things I have used along the way on my journey that have helped me.

SAGE

This tried and true remedy is my first go to.  I always keep white sage sticks around my house to cleanse the air.  It doesn’t matter who had been at my home, the Dalai Lama could have been staying here and I will still Sage after he leaves.  People carry all sorts of energies with them so cleaning your space is important for a clear and focused channel.

EPSOM SALT BATH

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Water is not only the best cleanser but it is extremely healing.  In many countries bathing in the sea at the start of a new year is thought to was away the energy of the past and bring in a fresh new start to your year.  Salt is a great cleanser and not to mention a good source of magnesium.  Pour one cup into a warm bath, relax and let the salt carry away the bad energies.  You can even envision the gunk going down the drain when you are done.  Add fresh rose petals, lavender, or lemon oil to enlighten, relax or energize you.

SPRAYS

They make wonderful Sage sprays that you can literally carry in your purse for emergency cleansing.  These are wonderful.  Whenever you are feeling like you are carrying more than your own energetic weight, these sprays are fantastic for clearing the air.

CRYSTALS

Crystals are so very powerful.  There are so many of them to choose from and they each have different properties.  When removing energy that is negative, Black Obsidian is my crystal of choice.  It literally sucks all the negativity out of your auric field.  Be sure to sage it before using and after using.  You can charge crystals under the full moon but remember that you are resetting the stone.  So any good energy of yours it was holding will be gone when charged under the moon.  That being said, when you first buy them always charge them in moonlight.

I sometimes carry a small piece of black obsidian in my bag to hold just in case I am around a truly toxic situation or person.  It helps!

CHANTING

Chanting is a wonderful way to open yourself up to the higher dimensions, and dispel any negativity and toxicity you have garnered along the journey of life.  It is also a way to absolve Karmic ties and influences from this and past lives.   Chanting is wonderful, because sincere daily practice can actually remove toxic people from your life without you ever having to do a thing.   The universe will give you what is truly for your highest good. I cannot say enough about chanting and will expand on the topic in a future post.

YOGA

Sport group practicing yoga.

Movement of any sort is really good at getting rid of bad energy.  Dancing, running, yoga, pilates, sports, swimming, you name it, it works.  They will all work in moving the toxic energies out of your auric field.  Since they also raise your endorphins, you will feel super happy which is always the best way to combat negativity. Movement is a must to stay positive and I highly suggest doing it.

LEMONS

Lemons are amazing little fruits!  They have the ability to suck up all the negative energy in a room and absorb it into their porous little bodies.  There are so many uses for this super power fruit I can’t even begin to expand upon them all.  Here are my top three:

  1. Put a bowl of lemons out when you feel you need to clear the air.  The lemons will absorb any and all toxic residue left behind by guests, ex-lovers or even by you after being out and about for the day.
  2. Have someone in your life you need to chill the hell out? Cut open half a lemon. Place a piece of paper with that persons name inside.  Close the two halves.  Wrap the lemon in tin foil and throw it in the freezer.  I sometimes yell “Chill Out”  if that person is especially irritating.  You can remove the lemon from your freezer whenever you are ready.
  3. Lemon Water.  Drink as much of it as you can.  It not only clears the skin but it literally resets your system if you are suffering from anxiety  or depression.  Drink a gallon of lemon water a day and you will see what miracles can happen.

These are just some of my favorite things when it comes eliminating toxic energies.   If you find yourself in the presence of a toxic person who you can quickly remove yourself from, great!  If like most of us, you find them creeping into all areas of your life, relaz and remember, you have the power to rid yourself of toxic energy.

Spread the Love,

TPJ

Be Careful Who You Trust

Tales Of A Psychic Junkie 4.jpegMy whole life I have attracted needy people who do nothing more than drain my precious energy.  Having this spirit of always wanting to help or take care of people led me attract strays. We are all like this in some ways, especially if we are givers.  Givers by nature attract takers, so we must be super careful to make sure that we don’t allow toxic people to slip in under the radar because we are so blinded by our need to help or save them.

It is not just intimate relationships that bring these people.  Toxic people can come in all different forms: a parent, teacher, employer, friend, lover or partner.  I have had so many one-sided toxic friendships, it was almost comical.  Whenever anyone entered my life, it was just a matter of time before their true colors (and motives) would become clear, and I was desperately trying to figure out how to rid myself of the trash.

A few years back I had come to meet a woman who had just broken up with her boyfriend, and was in the midst of a horrifying fight with her best friend.  She asked if I would want to meet her in midtown for lunch and thinking we had a bit in common as we were both actresses, I went.  The entire time all she did was complain to me about her friend and how mean she was, etc.  I was okay with it, because 1, people need to vent. 2. They always seem to feel like venting to me (must be my face) and 3. We all have moments when our friends piss us off.  It doesn’t’ mean we don’t love them, it means we are simply annoyed at the very human thing our friend may have done.

I didn’t’ think much of it and went on my way.  Over the next few weeks this young lady was attached to me like flies on shit.  She called me every day.  We met for coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks (even though I don’t drink) I saw more of her than I did my own reflection and being a Leo and often times very vain, that is saying a lot.  I started to notice that every single time we hung out she would bad mouth people.

Feeling uneasy about this fledgling new relationship, I found myself sitting in a small boutique shop on the lower east side getting a reading.

The woman before me shuffled the Tarot and laid out my cards.

“You must be careful who you trust.  All around you are not friends.  Make sure you dot your i’s and cross your t’s because otherwise you may find something you have given is lost”

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Hmmm. I thought.

“There is someone (a woman) around you who feigns friendship because she wants something from you.  She continued

“What does she want?”  I asked

“It looks like she wants you to help her in some way.  It will be revealed to you in time, but be careful.  She is not a woman who chooses her words wisely.  Slander and gossip fall from her tongue easily.  She is surface, nothing lies beneath.  Vapid and self-centered.  This is not someone you want to have in your life and if you persist the Universe will remove her.”

I thanked the woman for the reading and went about wandering the streets of NY for the next two hours pondering what she had told me.

A few days later that young women finally asked me.

“I am writing a screenplay.  I was hoping you would direct it.”

Now this wasn’t a horrible request, as at the time I was always looking for new projects.  So I set off without another thought, or a contract.

For weeks we worked on her project. I rewrote her horribly written screenplay into something interesting and compelling.  All seemed to be well until one day I just stopped hearing from her.  She would not answer any calls or emails.  This parasite that had become another appendage on my already slight frame had all but amputated herself from my life.  It was as if she’d just dropped off the face of the earth.

Months went by before I understood what had happened.  This young lady had taken what we had worked on together and shopped it around to another director.  She then proceeded to bad mouth me to everyone she met, many of whom told me about it albeit it months after.  I was devastated.  What had I done?  Where had I gone wrong?  Then, I remembered:

“You must be careful who you trust.  All around you are not friends.  Make sure you dot your i’s and cross your t’s because otherwise you may find something you have given is lost”

There it was.  I had not heeded a warning that came to me almost six months before I had made that stupid error.  We all attract people into our lives who are not always the best for us.  We tend to know it immediately, but rarely listen. There are a few things you can do to rid yourself of toxic energy when you find yourself overwhelmed by it.   I’ve written about a few of them in ,7 Home Remedies for Clearing Toxic Energy.  I find that these work wonders and can help gear you to the right vibrational matches.

I had learned a lot from this experience.  From that point on this psychic junkie was no longer going to simply trust anyone… I was going to learn this lesson, although it would take me many years to actually get the hang of it and I am still no where near mastering it.

Keep Seeking,

TPJ

 

 

Reshuffle. Reshuffle. Reshuffle

 

 

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It is the plight of every great psychic when they are giving a reading, to have the person on the receiving end become less than thrilled with the outcome.  After all, most people aren’t looking for the truth, they are waiting to be told what they want to hear.

My dear friend Bertha had asked me to take her to see a very good psychic in the Bronx who we will call “Bella.”  Now I had gone to Bella many times and she was as good as they come.  She was rough around the edges, and highly paranoid but other than that, she was a fantastic reader.

I went first and Bertha waited outside in the lobby.  Bella didn’t want to cross energies.  After my reading Bertha went in for hers.  I paced the lobby waiting for her and a half hour later she emerged, less than enamored.

“How was it?”  I asked

“She’s the worst.” Was the reply.

“Well what did she tell you?”

Bertha looked like she had sucked down and enourmous bag of sour patch kids.  Her whole face was puckered in such a way I thought it might cave into her head.

“She said that Rony and I are not going to make it.”

I had heard very little about this Rony character.  All I knew was that Bertha and Rony had been hooking up for the last three months.  I had never met him in person as he liked to keep himself away from her friends.  While I found this a bit odd, I just tossed it up to each is own and went about my way.

Bertha was so perturbed at this idea she turned to me and sharply said, “I want you to read my cards.”

I almost choked.  “What?”

“You can read cards.  You tell me what I know in my heart to be true.”

Against my better judgement I went home and obliged my slowly psychcotic turning friend.

I shuffled, she picked her cards and we went into the reading.  The minute I saw the tarot cards I gasped.   The King of Wands and The Page of Cups were followed by the Devil, the Lovers and finally the Three of Swords.  Underneath the King of Wands was the Queen of Wands.

“Bertha.  Is Rony married?! I exclaimed in a non-existant attempt at holding back.

Bertha turned beet red.  “Is that what the cards are saying?  He’s still with that bitch.”

“Bertha, that bitch is his wife and he’s not leaving her.  He’s not going to end it with her.”

“Reshuffle.” she spat

At first I was a little taken aback at her brazen demand.  But ever the empath, I decided to appease my slowly unhinging friend.  I reshuffled and laid the cards out.

“Same outcome Bertha.”  I said.  As a matter of fact, almost all the same cards appeared.”

Bertha slammed her fist into my favorite throw pillow sending the beads flying.  Perhaps we should’ve discussed her anger issues.  I thought it best not to bring it up.

“Reshuffle.” She said.

“Bertha.  The outcome is going to be the same…”

“Just do it.”

I did.  Four more times with no change to the outcome.  It was as if the cards were becoming more impatient with her by the minute.  When the Ten of Swords appeared followed by the Three of Swords and lastly the Devil, I’d had enough.

“My cards are off the clock. They’ve given you you’re answer.  Do what you want with the information.  My fingers are raw from shuffling.”

Bertha pushed the cards off the bed in the most petulant of ways and huffed her way out of my apartment.  She slammed the door so hard my Marilyn paintings went crashing to the ground.

It would be four months before she would speak to me again.  And this was only after Ms. Bertha was dropped by her married lover who incidentally had a restraining order against her.  Ms. Bertha learned the hard way that sometimes in life, you just cannot reshuffle.

 

Keep Seeking,

TPJ