The Liar, the Bitch and the BJ: Part II


“He’s lying,” Said Scarlett without so much as a pause.  “Whatever line of crap he is giving you … it is all a lie.”

It had been two days since my boyfriend Matt came back from LA with a little secret that with the help of my psychic Scarlet and my best friend was being slowly revealed.

I looked at the number written on my notepad.  Brigit.  I could call her and find out what really happened. She would tell me right?  After all, we gals are supposed to stick together.

I immediately called Stephie. ” What do you think? Should I just call this slut puppy and  see if she will tell me the truth?”

Ever the feminist Stephie replied, “Well don’t call her a slut.  WE don’t know that she’s actually a slut. She might not have known that Matt had a girlfriend.  He’s very good at lying, he probably lied to her too.”

I thought about it for a moment.  It was true.  There was no reason to throw this girl under the bus, after all she might be a victim too.

Stephie arrived at my apartment an hour later.  We dialed the phone making sure to  keep it on speaker.

“Hello” came a familiar voice.

“Hi. This is Matt’s girlfriend. It appears you might have spent some quality time with him the past weekend.”

Silence. Then:

“I might have met him.  I meet a lot of people in my line of work.”

I felt the sarcasm rising in my throat but cut myself off right before the snark left my lips.

“Might have met him?  I know you met, I saw of picture of the two of you at the club.”

Silence again. “I can’t believe this.  He… I can’t believe this.”

“So it’s true?  You hooked up with him?”

“No it’s not true.” she retorted.

Stephie crinkled her nose.

I admit I was a bit taken aback.  Typically when I called some chic that Matt hooked up with they were all too willing to apologize and admit it.  Was it possible that this chic was just a female version of Matt?

“Listen, I’m sure if I were you, I’d be embarrassed right now but woman to woman, I just want to know the truth.”

I thought for a moment that Brigit might have had some compassion for me seeing that she is a woman too.  She hadn’t known he was taken.  She might have even thought that he was going to have a long distance relationship with her.  Sure they just met for 24 hours but stranger things have happened.

“Look.  If your boyfriend is cheating on you, that’s not my problem, it’s yours. ”

I held the phone away from my face to avoid blowing it up with my energetic rage.

“So you knew about me.”

“He told me twice he had a girlfriend but like I said, we didn’t hook up.”  She was becoming suddenly very brazen.

“Well he told me you did.” I lied.  “So why would he say that if it wasn’t true.”

“Well if he told you then why are you calling me?” was the response.

Touché, I thought. Before I could react, Stephie had grabbed the phone “You stupid slut!  Where are your morals? This must just be another day in your life when some random guy with a girlfriend uses your mouth as a toilet bowl.”

With that I grabbed the phone and hung it up.

“Well.  Now I know it’s true.”

“I cannot believe that girl.  She is what is wrong with women.  Women do not stick together, they tear each other apart.  If she would have told Matt to go fuck himself then she would be…”

“Steph.  Who cares.  She is one on a long list of many.  I know you are hoping that somehow you can led the charge on the “I am Woman” movement but you might be in for a bigger fight then you anticipate.”

Stephie nodded her head.

“Besides.  We have a bigger fish to fry.”

I text Matt that he should not come home because I was afraid I couldn’t be responsible for what I might do to him.  He of course arrived a half hour later.

“I spoke to Brigit.”

Matt had that incredulous look on his face that always overcomes me with a feeling of wanting to slap him.

“I did not hook up with that girl.”

“She said you did.”

“She wouldn’t say that.”

Wow were these two meant for each other, I thought.

“Why not?”

“Why would some girl tell you she hooked up with your boyfriend?”

“I think the real question is why would my boyfriend hook up with some random girl?”

“You know what, you’re crazy.” he spat at me.

There it was … the “you’re crazy” line.  The line that admits guilt for all sociopaths and narcissists almost instantaneously.  Rest assured young ones when you hear that line, it’s game over and you have won.

Matt screamed at the top of his lungs in hopes that the volume would somehow trigger a reaction in my brain proving him innocent once and for all.

But all I kept hearing  was Scarlet. “He’s lying.” Whatever line of crap he’s giving you is just a lie.”

I threw a vase at Matt and chased him out of my apartment with a broom.  It would be another whole two months before Matt would admit to what happened out in LA.  By that time we were already broken up as there would be one more incident that would finally cause me to snap. And as with all things in my world of having to know, there was one very in tune psychic who would be advising this junkie on how exactly to rid myself of the trash once and for all.


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