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Karma’s a bitch, but you don’t have to be

Many moons ago in a land far, far away called “My Twenties”, my now very ex- boyfriend Matt and I were on a trip to California to see some friends.  We ended up at the Rose Bowl which was not exactly my idea of a vacation but happy boyfriend…well happy boyfriend?

Anyway,  while there, we met a sexy little minx who we’ll call “Felicity.”  Felicity was dating one of Matt’s friends, a rather dense boy whose talents including smashing beer cans on his face. As I settled into my seat trying to put on my best game face, I glanced over and noticed my notoriously unfaithful ex and this cute little thing locking eyes.  It was in that very moment I realized, I  was unceremoniously fucked.

Almost immediately Felicity began making some not so subtle advances on Matt.  At the stadium, she made sure to remind him that her father owned the football team.  Boy did she speak Matt.  That kind of crap played right into his overinflated ego.  She strutted past him often,  making sure to put her well rounded behind in his face.  She laughed at his idiotic jokes while coyly giving him “fuck me” eyes.  And lucky for her, those eyes were returned in kind!  It was a disgusting display of betrayal and neither thought nor cared if anyone was watching.

But someone was watching, and I was heartbroken.  Not just because this young girl was making advances on my boyfriend, but because he was clearly entertaining it.  Felicity knew what she was doing but she didn’t care.  She had no idea what girl code was and even less interested in finding out.  To her this was nothing more than a game and she was going to “beat” me at all costs, by taking my man.

I knew these two were planning on hooking up and as with all things, my intuition was not wrong.  This sordid tale ended with Matt and Felicity hooking up in a bathroom stall.  My psychic spidey sense at high alert, I started questioning Matt on his whereabouts and why it took so long to get hot dogs.  All the way back to New York, Matt denied this actions and accused me of being jealous and insecure.  The go-to for pathological liars and cheats.

The truth came out almost three years later when Matt and I were thankfully a thing of the past.  In a last ditch effort to win me back, he had confessed all his past indiscretions to me.  After I’d kicked him out of my life permanently, sweet little Felicity shook her tiny hips all the way east to explore the possibility of a real relationship with Matt.  Night after night, they happily engaged in their wildest fantasies that could only until now be realized save for that passionate rendezvous in the bathroom stall.  It was nothing short of sexual bliss.

But as with all things in nature the Gods had other plans.  One fine day, Felicity was strutting around Matt’s Midtown apartment, waiting for him to return from work which he was doing later and later and later as the days went on.  As she sipped her champagne and picked out curtains, she came across Matt’s laptop which he stupidly left open.  Felicity might not have normally paid any attention to the screen but an email addressed to ME popped out at her, stopping her in her tracks.  Curiosity mixed with a healthy dose of envy,  led her to doing the unthinkable (and strongly unadvisable) she read the email.

The email mentioned many things, mostly how Matt was terribly unhappy with Felicity and how much he missed me.  He went on and on in very explicit detail about all the things he missed, which was horrifying enough for me to read but utterly traumatizing for her.

When Matt returned home that night, he was met with a barrage of tears, screaming, and flying objects, all culminating to one big life lesson.  But the lesson wasn’t for Matt…it was for Felicity.  You see, after reading Matt’s explicit email, Felicity also read my response…

Matt,

I’m sorry to hear things aren’t turning out as you’d hoped.  While I understand your feelings for me, I must emphatically remind you that those feelings are not reciprocated so please just stop.  Also, I have to say that the way you are going about this is really shitty.  Felicity is here in the city, thousands of miles away from her friends and family to be here with you.  Try not to be your usual dickhead self.  If you want to end it, man up and do it like a mature adult, not a sneaking, lying coward trying to get back with his ex.  If there is one thing you should strive to do, however against you true nature it might be,  it’s to please be nice to her.

P.S

We are never getting back together.

A huge fight ensued which ended with Felicity packing her things and leaving Matt with a message…for me.

“Please tell Addie I’m sorry.”

While I could’ve taken this opportunity to “get back” at Felicity for humiliating me all those years before, I chose not to.  We are all young and stupid at some point in our lives,  and then just stupid for the rest of it.  We are outfitted with the task of choosing our thoughts and words wisely so as not to hurt others.  While it might not be easy to choose the path of love, it really is the only way.  For what we put out in this world we are sure to get back, and love heals.

Affirmation to rid yourself of an ex-lover

“In the name of love and light, I release you from my energy field.  The past is the past and shall never be revisited.  You are free and I am free.”

 

Keep Seeking,

TPJ

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Felicity was dating one of Matt's friends, a rather dense boy whose talents including smashing beer cans on his face. As I settled into my seat trying to put on my best game face, I glanced over and noticed my notoriously unfaithful ex and this cute little thing locking eyes.  It was in that very moment I realized, I  was unceremoniously fucked.

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