“Don’t cry, crying is a sign of weakness.”
“Don’t be so emotional.”
“Learn how to hide your feelings.”
These are just a few examples of scripts that we have been told, or perhaps tell ourselves which can really wreak havoc on our sensitive souls. We are made to believe, through these negative thoughts that there is something inherently wrong with us for feeling our emotions and god forbid, expressing them.
So for some people, what is so bad about being vulnerable??
Your feelings, emotions, and expressions thereof make other people uncomfortable. That’s it. Essentially these three phrases above (and many more) are designed to help the person you are being vulnerable to escape your emotions which they are not willing to deal with. It has nothing to do with you as a person. Nothing to do with your being weak, or emotionally unstable. No, it has to do with other people not wanting to confront their own emotions by having to deal with yours.
So the moment someone tells us not to cry, rather than continue anyway, we try to stop the flow of tears so that person can feel better. By engaging in this behavior, we are conditioning ourselves to care more about someone else’s needs than our own. We would rather stuff our own emotions and suffer in silence at the consequences, than allow for someone else to be uncomfortable around us.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
It is absolute horse crap. Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of great strength. You are someone who can actually feel and express instead of lash out, project or internalize. And crying is one of the most cathartic experiences we can have. So let those tears flow.
While I don’t recommend you run around town sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with everyone you meet, finding friends and lovers who allow for you to be unabashedly you is an absolute must. Because being vulnerable is not only a gift to you but to to others as well.
By expressing your humanness in the form of vulnerability, you allow for others to feel less alone. You also simultaneously attract better people into your life who will really care about your feelings and help you to honor them.
Being vulnerable is AWESOME and it means you are a thinking, feeling, human exposing the most precious parts of yourself fearlessly and that takes an enormous amount of self love to do.