It’s a word so many of us have a hard time saying, yet it is something we shouldn’t fear but should embrace. Many times we are brought up against something that challenges our core beliefs, something we feel in our hearts to be wrong or at least wrong for us, and yet against our better judgment we find ourselves saying yes to things we ought to be saying no to.
We find ourselves in this particular predicament due to a little demon called fear. When it comes to saying no, there are so many fears that play into the idea of never wanting to say it. Fear of loss, fear rejection, fear of not being liked, fear of abandonment or in a more nefarious case, the fear can run much deeper. All of these fears make for a dangerous cocktail of self-deception if not dealt with on a deeper level. It means we are having difficulty standing our ground, or standing up for what we really think or feel.
Our subconscious likes to attract situations, and people to us that can challenge our growth as humans. When a situation presents itself that raises any of these fears it is really our higher selves urging us to learn the power of standing our ground. And how do we stand our ground when faced with something we really don’t want to do? We learn to say no.
I recently had a situation where I had said yes to a project that I really didn’t love. I loved the writer but the script needed a lot of work and much of it I had done for them in the form of suggestions. I wasn’t completely sure about all the people involved as it was becoming painfully apparent that they really had no idea what they were doing, and were looking for me to fund their project. I also felt they were not being honest with me in terms of how much financing they had secured so I was beginning to have second thoughts about getting in bed with them. Now, this example is on a purely business level however it does demonstrate how your intuition is rarely wrong, and how sometimes the answer is just no.
After wasting a year’s worth of time entertaining the idea of working together, I started to feel resentment, a little emotion that tends to rear its ugly head when we find ourselves doing something against our better judgment. So I decided to cut them loose. After I made the difficult decision to come from a place of NO rather than YES, I felt immediately relieved. I had convinced myself that in business, you must always come from a place of yes as to avoid missing opportunities. I learned after years of making the same mistake, that this is NOT true in all instances and while you most definitely should say yes to everything you can that IS in your BEST interest, no is an equally powerful statement that must be utilized when the situation is just not right. After all, life is all about balance.
I sent an email ending our relationship. I did so in a professional manner leaving the door open for future conversation should they be open to it or in a different place financially. Not surprisingly my email was met with slight hostility and a petulant response proving to me that I was RIGHT to move on from that project.
Saying no should never overwhelm you with fear. As a matter of fact, it is one of the most self-empowering words we can have at our disposal as it actually has the opposite effect on fear. Saying no to things that are not in our best interest actually liberates us from becoming trapped by our fears. And once our minds master the root of fear, the road to success becomes wide open.